Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
