apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
