Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
