It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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