did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
