in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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