The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
