I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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