Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
