69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
