he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Found the puke drawer
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just had sex on a roof
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
