My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
