Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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