so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
