If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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