You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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