dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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