they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
