i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
