In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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