DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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