Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
