come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I am spending my child support on dildos
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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