just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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