I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
