Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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