these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
