If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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