How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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