I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
