conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize