Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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