dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
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I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
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Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
we should paint friendship bongs
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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