I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Randomize
