How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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