hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
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He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
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We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!