yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Michael Bay diarrhea
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Sober January is a disaster.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.