my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I can't trust your balls anymore.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
