he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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