just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Randomize
