my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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