i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She's the barista slut.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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