Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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