whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
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hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
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If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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