Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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