Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
