I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
