ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
