You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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