That's intense
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
