i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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