I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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