I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize