I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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