they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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