He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
