Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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