We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
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