Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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