i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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