Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
