is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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