Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
cat food counts as protein by the way
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
