At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
