I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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