Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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