that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
There's even glitter on my cock...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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