i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
My pussy is not your playground.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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