I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
it's like iHOP with fire
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
