therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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